


Comparisons

by Colamiilk



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Also don't misunderstand i'm not saying Giriko is scared of god in description, Giriko gets absorbed in work, Giriko's hot and Justin's cold, I like temperature equilibrium in my ships, I'm sorry its hard not to bring up with Justin involved, Justin daydreams, Like over the top romantic and horribly sappy, M/M, Mentions of religion, Otherwise known as my favorite type of fics, Redemption AU, its more complicated then that, my favorite justin headcanon, this is mushy, unstable justin headcanon strikes again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18717145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colamiilk/pseuds/Colamiilk
Summary: "You make me think of the things I hate." Giriko's mouth fell into a thin line, and his brow twitched into a truly horrifying glare. He should've known this was going to turn into a fight, he should've known this was just a long winded insult.His mouth opened to shoot something back to say something more crass that would make the priest gasp in offense. But he found that the words that were dying to come out weren't all that insulting. "You make me think of the things I'm afraid of."Giriko had never thought he was scared of divine judgement, not until he met Justin.





	Comparisons

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! Ok! This took way longer then it was supposed to and underwent like, 3 rewrites but! I think it came out really cute and makes a fair amount of sense ;v;) There was a lot of explanatory stuff that i had to cut bc trust me it was starting to sound like a monologue... But hopefully the ideas still come across clearly ;v; I think they do but... im not sure aha. Please let me know if you enjoyed <3

“Giriko makes me think of sand and clay, of the hot sun, of sweat and blood.” 

The day had been peaceful so far, Giriko had woken up around 3pm nursing the tiniest bit of a headache. Today was one of the dwindling few days that he had nothing to do, a break where he could just lounge around and do nothing if he really wanted to. So when he finally got up and washed the gross taste of sleep out of his mouth with a can of flat beer he had left near his bed at some point he had been expecting everything to remain peaceful. 

Justin shouldn’t of been around, he had been gone the past week on some mission and wasn’t planning on coming back for awhile. He had updated the chainsaw a few times on his whereabouts and what the plan was but after Giriko complained and told him he didn’t give a fuck he had responded with something so goddamn annoying that Giriko had blocked his number with a vengeance. He could practically hear Justin’s smug voice and wry smile in the text. ‘ _ I don’t really care if you ‘give a fuck’ or not, I’m making sure you haven’t died yet. _ ’ It was blood boiling and the satisfaction that came with cutting any of his future attempts of communication was definitely worth not knowing what was going on. Until now.

It was needless to say that when he heard Justin’s voice behind him he felt his heart stop for a second. The words, the weird comparison Justin was making didn’t even register in his head, how could it? All he could think of was how Justin was just suddenly here. Turning around didn’t clear anything up either. The other hadn’t just waltzed in with that rather weird conversation starter, he was sitting in one of the spare chairs Giriko had dragged into his workshop forever ago… and it looked like he had been sitting there for hours. 

Nothing about Justin’s posture said that he knew how creepy he was being, he was just sat quietly curled up with eyes that looked far too sharp and attentive to be on someone who looked as exhausted as he did. One of his arms was pillowing his face and Giriko could tell without much thought that the other had only spoken up because if he hadn’t he would’ve fallen asleep. 

A million questions popped up in Giriko’s head, as they so often did when he was dealing with the priest. How long had Justin been there? Why didn’t he say anything until now? How had he gotten in here without Giriko noticing? They were all good questions, but the one that came up with Justin’s next words- which were said so deadpan it honestly made the chainsaw a bit uncomfortable, was definitely the most pressing.

“He makes me think of needless violence, of sharp metal bits, of complex mechanics that I can never get to work.” 

_ What on earth was he talking about? _

Justin’s thought process was always somewhat of a mystery to Giriko, he didn’t understand what was going on over there, ever. The kid had a twinge of insanity clinging on to him constantly, logic that didn’t make sense in anyway Giriko could understand, and quirks that really couldn’t be expected in anyone but him. It was honestly the only thing that made the guillotine even slightly palatable, if he was any more of a goody-two shoes and standard perfect scythe of Lord Death he’d just be Giriko’s hell personified. 

This was the kind of shit that made Justin  _ interesting _ , and that’s why, as confused as he was, Giriko didn’t cut him off. 

“Of sunburns, of being unable to breathe, of pain and struggle.” He didn’t bother to try to understand what the meaning behind each thing Justin picked was, he knew there was no way he’d be able to guess. So instead he just listened, tensely watching the other’s eyes glint with some kind of feeling and passion that wouldn’t make sense to anyone but him. 

“He makes me think of the stuff I hate.” Giriko had known somewhere inside him that this was probably leading into an insult, it was Justin after all. So he wasn’t all that surprised when the other shoe finally dropped. He was pissed though, and his tongue immediately began to sharpen with an insult to throw back. 

He made a sharp intake of breath, but before he could say anything Justin cut him off.

“But I find I don’t hate them at all when I think of him.” Justin didn’t break eye contact at all as he said it, his mouth didn’t twitch into a smile nor did he move in anyway. It made the silence that came over them feel like some sort of weird stalemate. There were a lot of things Giriko could say right now and they’d all be more than fair… But he found himself go completely silent, focused on only fighting of the slight red that was threatening to burn his face. 

Still no matter how hard he would try Justin would still notice the way his face twitched, and sure enough he did- the snake like smile that creeped up his lips was more than enough proof. Giriko was going to kill him. That smug little shit was just begging for it at this point. Of course Justin didn’t look alarmed or scared when Giriko began to walk towards him with an expression of complete and utter fury though, in fact he only looked more pleased by the violent reaction. And instead of saying something to diffuse the situation he said something that completely nuked it. 

“You make me love the things I hate.” 

Giriko stopped in his tracks and bit his lip hard enough that blood dribbled out. He willed his legs to move, his mouth to scream. He wanted to say something, anything. He couldn’t let the goddamn idiotic bastard in front of him win like that! But with all the steam coming out of his head all he could manage was-

“Is this how you get your sick kicks you little-” Justin laughed, loud enough that whatever Giriko was going to finish that insult off with was silenced. The other’s face looked so pleased it burned Giriko’s blood. The tired expression Justin had on when Giriko first noticed him was completely gone- the enchanter was willing to bet it had moved onto his face. It was like Justin had somehow switched their energy levels with nothing but his words. 

“My ‘sick kicks’? Whatever do you mean?” Finally the priest went back to talking in his normal infuriating manner, which was verging on unbearable as always. But it was predictable. And after that Giriko really needed him to be predictable for a bit. 

“Are you saying you don’t like hearing-” Giriko put on the breaks yelling something along the line of  _ ‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence.’ _ and Justin seemed actually surprised. It was clear he hadn’t been expecting to be stopped so suddenly and his expression slipped a bit. Giriko knew he hadn’t really won here but that wasn’t going to stop him from doing his damned best to enjoy the small victory of seeing Justin’s smile disappear as he responded with a slightly dejected “Ah. Alright.” 

There was a few beats of silence, and Giriko was almost tempted to turn back to his work. He still wanted to finish what he had been doing before Justin had spontaneously appeared in his workshop. But it was harder than it looked to turn his back to Justin… the kid had a weird presence that made him hard not to look at. It wasn’t just that he was pretty enough to draw people’s attention and make them want to stare- which he was. It was also that turning your back to him felt a little bit like inviting death. Giriko knew Justin wasn’t the type to kill someone when they were off guard- in fact he had given Giriko a couple lectures and countless disapproving stares when the chainsaw spilt the blood of their targets without so much of a word of warning before. 

But still it was so unbearably  _ possible  _ for him to do that. It would be so easy for the priest to eat him alive the second he looked away. The gravity of making an error in judgement with Justin, of trusting him when he shouldn’t have, was far too high to risk even just turning his back. And while he was plenty confident that he could protect himself against the guillotine if things did go that direction he still found himself scared.

Which was an unbelievably infuriating blow to his pride. How was he so scared of a brat? How was he scared but Justin never seemed to blink even when Giriko got close enough that snapping his neck would be child’s play? Did he actually believe he was the weaker of the two of them? No… he refused to accept that. After all it wasn’t the fight he was scared of… But then… what was it? What made the other so spine chilling if not his lethality? 

Justin seemed to notice his hesitance to turn back to what he was doing and let his eyes slip closed in thought. Giriko could only wait, sweating, to see where this was going. When the blonde stood up there was a brief moment where Giriko thought he was going to leave. He couldn't decide if that would've been ideal or not. 

He supposed it didn't matter though as Justin tucked his hands coyly behind his back and let his face fall into what Giriko could only assume was supposed to be something cute and teasing. If it wasn't meant to be that way he'd have to get his eyes checked because god was he overwhelming to look at like that. Any kind of sweet aura he had managed to build up was completely destroyed the moment he opened his mouth though. 

“Say… what do I make you think of Giriko?” The other’s words felt like a slap on the back of the head and Giriko growled a bit in irritation. Did Justin know that he had been thinking about? Was he mocking him? Was the coy smile on his face because of how pleased he was to know Giriko was at a loss? No… there was no way. As unsettling as the other’s timing was Giriko knew he was probably referring to the start of the conversation and his own weird associations. He should've known this was coming. He was getting sloppy, panicked. Thinking too hard about things that he shouldn’t even bother thinking about. 

“Well?” Impatience. Justin was excited, he wanted to hear something. It was clear from his tone he was curious, he wanted to know how Giriko saw him. The idea that Justin legitimately thought that Giriko would humor him with this was laughable. Even if he wanted to indulge the other- which he didn’t, he would have no idea where to start. He wasn’t a romanticist like the priest, he didn’t think in metaphors or comparisons. For the other to even think he would waste his time on that… well, it made Justin seem a little less eerie and omniscient. So that was something.

“You don’t make me think of anything.” Justin mouth curled up in displeasure, his nose wrinkling ever so slightly. It was one of Justin’s more common expressions when they were talking, but it never got less satisfying. There were truly few things better than pissing the blonde off. Sadly it never lasted long.   

“That can’t be true- surely there's something.” Giriko’s eyebrow twitched. Little piece of shit. Of course he wouldn’t let it go just like that. There was no way he was going to get roped into playing this game though, there was no way he was going to let the priest force him to answer. He had far too much pride for that. His mind apparently didn’t though, and it began to spitefully comply, making comparisons like  _ you remind me of annoying house party music that grates on the ears and temper of everyone around them. Of the crosses wrapped up in the hands of pitious corpses who had hoped something would come and save them. _

His mouth knit into a truly disgusted scowl as the second idea passed through his mind. This wasn’t a direction he wanted to go. He didn’t want to think about any of this. “I don’t think about you enough to have any fancy comparisons.” What a blatant lie… it tasted so sour on his tongue. He was certain Justin wouldn’t buy it for a minute, but he hoped maybe it would trick his brain into shutting up. 

It didn’t.

_ Of blizzards that start off harmless but quickly make it impossible to see 3 feet in front of you. Of the cold ice that freezes over and traps those foolish enough to enter it unprepared.  _

“How crass. To think I was just complimenting you…” Justin’s tired words were never more welcome, he tried to cling onto them as a distraction. However the other’s sighs didn’t even process enough for him to step away from his own swirling uncontrollable thoughts. He had a feeling nothing but alcohol would be able to stop it at this point. 

As if to mock him the thoughts grabbed onto his hope for reprieve and added it to the fire.  _ Of the dizzy feeling he got when he was a bit too drunk, Of the painful morning sun that aggravated his hangovers and made him question how he got to this point.  _

He wasn’t even looking at Justin anymore but he could see the other’s pitying eyes boring through him. He could practically hear the priest’s concerns and worries. He hated it. He  _ hated  _ it. He had to do something, otherwise Justin would start going soft on him. And there couldn’t be anything worse then having to deal with kindness from that guy. 

“It’s your own fault for being naive enough to think I care about you.” He said it through gritted teeth, his back had began to knot up with how tensely he was holding himself. Justin seemed to pull back a bit, the worry that was radiating off of him quieted to a bearable point and Giriko wanted to sigh in relief. He had made it out of this. The other didn’t look like he was going to keep pushing it after that. 

But then the silence didn’t lift. 

The quiet was almost as bad as the worry, because it meant Justin was thinking. He was considering everything going on and deciding what to do next. There were few things that made Giriko as uncomfortable as Justin’s consideration did. The other was too unpredictable when he was like this, there really was no way to tell where he’d go from here. There was no promise that he wouldn’t figure out exactly what Giriko was thinking about and throw it back at him mercilessly. 

“The more you deny it the more I think you do.” A huge stone settled in the middle of Giriko’s throat and began to suffocate him. Bulls eye. He hit it right on the head. The worst part was that Justin didn’t even look victorious, he just looked sad as he tore Giriko open and dragged everything he had inside of him out into the open. As if administering the final bullet his mind whispered  _ of feeling powerless _ ,  _ of angels who passed judgement so firm and resolute that he’d be forced to realize that there was nothing he could do but accept it.  _

Ah. So that was it.

He was scared of Justin because Justin was the only one who forced him to look at himself. He was the only one who expected anything of Giriko, the only one who saw him as more than a bottomed out nobody. The only person he had left to disappoint. 

His next words came out like a whisper, a confession he didn’t want to make but knew he had to. 

“You make me think of the stuff I’m scared of.” Justin’s eyes widened in shock and for once it seemed like he didn’t have anything to say. He looked almost heartbroken. Giriko would’ve laughed or made some kind of smug or cheeky joke but the admission was gut wrenching enough that he couldn’t do anything but try to stomach it. 

“But… you make me realize that sometimes being scared is a good thing.” Every word felt wrong in his mouth, they felt clunky and weird, like they didn’t belong on his tongue. He hated that he couldn’t seem to stop the words from spilling out, he hated how he couldn’t deny how honest they were. The only solace was seeing just how dumb Justin looked when he was at a complete loss.  

“You make the scariest things in this world seem worthwhile.” He was shaking by the time he finished talking, sweating at the exertion it had taken to say those words. His face was on fire and he was biting through his lip again. He hadn’t said all that much but the implications of his words were enough that the atmosphere had become unbearably heavy. Justin was completely silent and when he finally got the courage to look back at the blonde he was shocked to see the other was holding back tears.

“D-Don’t look at me like that! Cut it out right now!” Justin didn’t say anything, but his shoulders went up a few times with silent hiccups. It was clear he really was trying not to cry but was failing miserably. Giriko felt mortification crawl over him and he began to panic. 

“For all you know I was comparing you to maggots stop getting excited! You don’t know what I find scary!” Justin made a shaky laugh and wiped away the wetness that had gathered around his eyes. Goddammit how could he still be so infuriating even now!? If this wasn’t his own workshop that he had to lock up he’d storm out of here right now. This was bullshit. All of it. He shouldn’t of said anything. Finally the other’s voice cracked to life.

“I know enough, and don’t go trying to convince me your scared of bugs for a second; you worked for a spider and a mosquito for how long?” Giriko’s embarrassment entirely disappeared and was replaced with an unholy rage. How dare he imply he worked for that mosquito fuck? The worries that clouded his mind finally flew away and he was able to just focus on what was right in front of him.

“Hey! I did not work for that mosquito! He was below me if anything!” Justin’s smug smile came back and despite the red that surrounded his much too happy eyes things looked almost normal again. Justin began to turn away, moving towards the workshop door with a small wave.

“Mhm sure sure… Well I’m glad to see you're doing well. I’m going to head back first ok?” Giriko was going to throttle him. He wasn’t going to let Justin get away with the last word like that! Closing up as fast as he could he chased after the blonde.

“Get back here! I mean it!”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't try to convince me that Giriko wouldn't be scared of Justin. Like he has to be even if just a tiny bit, feelings are scary after all. Oh and I think the fear goes both ways ;) I have a draft for a like prequel/second chapter of this from Justin's pov that will go into that! its also... very horny tbh... I got distracted thinking about Giriko sweating... Also lots of talk about clay! yay clay!
> 
> (I know Giriko gets really ooc at the end but like, my gay heart needed this)


End file.
